Loving someone who’s sick isn’t always easy and I know that, I can’t even imagine what must go through your head most of the time as you watch me shuffle around on my bad days, brush my hair and cuddle me when I cry because it’s all too much. I often wish to get better if for no one else but you so you don’t have to worry, look after me and do all the heavy lifting, just to make your life that much easier.
I know this isn’t what you signed up for when we met – for the aches and pains and the creaking and cracking, for the shower full of hair and the bottles of weird smelling oils and balms I ask you to rub on me when I hurt, but I love you for doing it anyway.
I know that I am luckier than a lot of people to have someone like you who takes it all in his stride and is always there to make sure I’m still kicking at the end of every day. So many people would have just walked away – we’re young and it’s frustrating. Without you I don’t know what I’d do, I’d probably still be stuck in the bath slowly pruning into oblivion without you there to pick me up.
From the big things like waking up early to take me to work and pick me up when I’m done even though you work late nights and taking the dog out when I’m having a bad day and just can’t do it even though it’s my turn, to the little things like making sure I have a blanket when I fall asleep on the sofa in the middle of the day or filling up my glass of water when I’ve finished it to make sure I drink enough during the day, I appreciate them all, even if I don’t always show it. You put up with me being moody and you calm me down when I’m frustrated and angry – which happens a lot more than it should – you still tell me I’m beautiful when I’ve not slept for days and I can’t be bothered so I leave the house looking a little like a bag lady (okay, a lot like a bag lady). I come home to a made bed and a cup of tea when ever I need it and you’ll bring me my dinner in bed on the days when it’s the only place I want to be; you keep me motivated at work even when I just want to give up and go home because my brain has already given up and you remind me every day that I can do anything I want and being sick doesn’t mean I’m not amazing.
There are days when the only thing that gets me through is you making me laugh or letting me annoy you by scruffying up your beard while you’re trying to concentrate on something else and there are days when I could ask for nothing more than to just be sat with you, it could be anywhere, but to just be near you, I don’t even need to talk to you but just to enjoy your energy and let it make me feel better.
From your amazing cooking skills to your unique ability to perfectly tuck me in there is nothing you can’t do to make me feel like everything is going to be okay and more than anything I want to say thank you, for supporting me, helping me, and listening to my rants about food, medication and general health.
You are wonderful.