Who is Ed?
Ed is the little voice in my head who tells me I’m not good enough, the one who whispers in my ear to tell me I should eat it will make me feel better. Ed is the one I am trying to break up with.
You’ll notice quite a bit that I talk about Life without Ed, a book that has been a massive eye opener and a great inspiration on my journey to get better and beat this addiction. In the book Jenni Schaefer talks about Ed as a person, a relationship she needs to end and I found it so relatable, it has made it real, something almost tangible and it means that I kind of have a way to track where I am going and how I am doing.
I have a lot of conversations with Ed. When I look back I realise that most of those conversations were very one sided, Ed just talking at me, getting in my head but recently I have decided it’s my turn to say something.
I know I must sound like a crazy person, talking about how I talk to my personified eating disorder like it really can talk back but you know what it works. As things stand right now I haven’t quite found a way to completely stand up to Ed but that being said at least I speak to him.