I have come to the realisation that this is even harder than I thought. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I was amazed at how quickly and easily you can slip up – half the time you don’t even notice. From just a few days on the road to recovery I have learnt that one of the most important things is to be constantly mindful of yourself.
Imagine you have a child – and not one of the good ones who sits quietly and plays but one that wants to touch everything and stick every single tangible object in their mouth, that’s food addiction. Just like a child you have to watch constantly, you have to be very carful about yourself, Ed is sneaky and sometimes you don’t even realise that you’ve triggered yourself until after it’s done. Here is a prime example:
Yesterday everyone was getting home late and I – like a banana – forgot to take the chicken out the freezer so dinner was going to take an age when we did all eventually get home. The other half offered to pick up dinner when he went to get the Christmas tree on the way home from work, which was great because by the time I did get home from work I was sore from the gym, my brain hurt from writing and I was so tired.
I had done quite well that day, even though I felt a little ill in the middle I stuck with it. We were going to have Lebanese for dinner but the restaurant was closed – technical issues – so we had pizza instead. I had a gluten free one with pesto and I was quite proud of myself (it may seem like nothing but I made a conscious choice to be good despite wanting a wheat filled, sugary tomato saucy feast). When we started eating and completely without thinking I had a bit of garlic bread. Done. It didn’t even dawn on my until I was taking my last bite.
So I have realised that it’s not just about committing to recovery and planning meals but about being mindful of every single thing you put in your mouth because you might not even realise until it’s too late. It’s all about breaking that habit really.