Up to now I know that my blog has not been overly personal, I don’t feel like any of you guys really know me or know what I’m about – just that I like cooking and I live in Dubai. There is more to me – honest.
Recently I had this realisation that I should probably make my blog a little less cold and a little more real, and in saying that I would like to share with you something that I have only recently decided to try to come to terms with. When I was about 17 my mum sat me down and gave me a book called Life Without Ed, it’s a book about eating disorders and coming to terms with them, finding a healthy way to overcome them. At first I was confused, did she think I was anorexic or something, there was no way, I ate pretty much all the time! But that wasn’t it, what my mum had found was that there is such a thing as food addiction; much in the same way alcoholism and drug addiction work, food addiction is a real thing. At first I couldn’t get on board with this, I thought she was talking nonsense but as I found out more about the symptoms and causes, things started to click into place and I found myself in a panic.
What do you do with that kind of information when you’re 17 and trying to get into university and everyone is telling you that you have to decide right that second what you want to do with the rest of your life? If you’re me, you try deal with it and realise that you just can’t so you pretend it’s not there…for seven years.
Last year my mum got really sick, (I won’t go into much but if you want to find out more you can read her story here) and when she came back from the UK I began to realise that I was just as much at risk of getting sick like her if I didn’t do something now. I started looking into my eating disorder, I allowed myself to admit it was there and I have made up my mind to do something about it.
Eating disorders are confusing things, be it that you eat too much, not enough, or even you eat too much and then purge yourself of it. There are so many reasons for it starting, so many triggers and so many little things that you probably don’t even notice. I won’t go into the whys and wherefores of it all now and save that for a later post, but just know that if you feel like you’re struggling with your relationship with food, you eat to make yourself feel better even when you know you shouldn’t and you find yourself at a loss, you can join me on this journey as I try to find a way to heal myself and restore a healthy relationship with food.
I want my blog to become something to help people not just something you read to pass the time when you’re bored. I want this to be my safe haven for sharing my struggles, my achievements and I am going to make it so.
So, all in all, I just want to say: welcome to my journey.